A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
Said the counsellor: “Why complain. You are still getting the same service.
*In the corporate world they call it…..*
*Job Rotation*!”

Last night i got HIV(Heavy Into Vodka) and this morning i woke up with TB(Taste of Beer) this means i have AIDS(Alcohol In De System) so now i have decided to take ARV(Another Round of Vodka)

Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife.
He says,
“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Wife asks, “Is that you, or the whisky talking?”
Husband replies, “It’s me… talking to whisky.”

If God is a ​Police Officer
How many times would you have been ​fined​ or arrested
for parking your life wrongly? Over loading with Lusts and Pleasures of the world? Not carrying the Fire Extinguisher always (Bible)? Over Speeding (Going Ahead of God’s Plans)? Driving without a License (Holy Spirit)? Not observing Traffic Lights (commandments)? And forgetting to put on your Safety Belt (Prayer)? Think about it…. SPREAD THE GOSPEL

A husband and wife noticed that their little boy’s penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says,’ Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father.

A MARRIED COUPLE IN THEIR
BEDROOm THE WIFE IS BUSY
SINGING.
Husband: You know my wife
when
you sing like that I just wish you
were on radio.
Wife: (smiling): wow Love . Am I
that good?
Husband: No, at least on a
radio I
can change the station…..

My Ex works in a pharmacy,
so whenever I want to spoil her mood
I just go there and buy condom for no reason
sometimes I go 3 times a day

There Are Basically 7 Types Of Girls…

1. Hard Disk Girls: Remember Everything Forever.

2. Ram Girls: Forgets About You The Moment You Turn Her Off.

3. Screen Saver Girls: Just For Looking.

4. Internet Girls: Difficult To Access.

5. Server Girls: Always Busy When Needed.

6. Multimedia Girls: Makes Horrible Things Looks Beautiful.

7. Virus Girls: These Type Of Girls Are Normally Called Wife Once Enters In Your System Don’t Leave Even After Format

Son-In-Law To Father-In-Law:

Dear Dad,

I Deeply Regret Taking Petrol Car In Dowry, Please Take Your Daughter Or Car Back. Can’t Afford Both.

Regards,
Your Lovey Son-In-Law

*Some girls are really funny, you expect your boyfriend to be rich in his 20’s yet your father is is still broke in his 60’s …. my sister what are you smoking, Tear gas??