When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood,
he declines the syringe and asks for a hand gun.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.😂😂

Difference Between Frnd & Wife.
U Can Tell Ur Frnd- You Are My Best Frnd.
But Do U Hav Courage Tell 2 Ur Wife- U R My Best Wife?

Girl Got Selected And Boy Failed In Interview By Same Reason. They Both Were Wearing Shirts With Two Top Buttons Opened Before The CEO.

Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me?

Person 2: Wrong number.

Person 1: What’s your number then?

Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?

Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!

Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.

Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring?

Mom: How make chicken
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado

I saw a driver texting and driving.

It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me an onion is the only food
that makes you cry,
so I threw a coconut at his face.