People ask me why I give the best relationship advice but yet am still single,
So I tell them “coaches don’t play
Sub Categories
A gal with big eyes can read your messages even when ur Phone is locked
HIM: Eish bae, these days it’s too cold. Tjo!! I hate Winter time, so you? which time do you like?
.
HER: I like Airtime!!
When you’re home alone and you keep hearing foot prints !!!
I have finally given up on Africans ✋ -_-
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How can somebody steal a white Goat and dye it black and the owner of the Goat come and say she knows the smile of her Goat?
This 1 got me laughing.
Three pastors met & agreed to
sincerely tell each other their
problems which must be kept a
secret between the three of them.
The first pastor said; my problem
is money l do steal even from the
church offering. Please pray for
me. The second pastor; mine is
women. Whenever l see any woman
my desire will be to go to bed with
her, infact l have slept with most
of the church (female) members.
Turning to the third pastor to hear
his problem he started crying (it
took his friends some effort to
calm him). When they asked him
to continue, he was still crying, he
said my problem is gossiping,
when we leave this place everybody
will hear all what the two of you
have just told me. Please pray for
me! The two pastors fainted. Don’t
spoil the fun, pass it on to make
people laugh.
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him in peace
4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don’t bother him with his movements
6. Clean the house
7. Wash his cloth
So what’s so hard about that?
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:
It’s really not too difficult but… To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. not stress her out
48. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
49. give her lots of attention
50. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
51. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
52. Should learn not to ask for change when u give money for shopping. Whatever u give out becomes rightly hers no matter how big the note is.
………
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS OO 😄😀😃😜🌹 Send this to everyone on your list. Make a happy home. Wishing you all a HAPPY FAMILY.
A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,
“Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕”
She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote.”
*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies…..*🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍
The story continues….😏
The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.
He said, “your husband has blocked your credit card……….”😲😲😲😲😲😲
*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒
Story continues….
Wife took out her husband’s credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own card.
*Moral: Don’t underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*
Story continues…
After swiping, the machine indicated, ‘ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE’…….
*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*
Story continues….
She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.
It was her husband’s phone showing the forwarded SMS.
She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn’t call her during her shopping.
She bought her items and returned home happily.
*Moral: Don’t underestimate a desperate woman!*😷😷😷😷😷
Story continues….
On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈
A note was pasted on the door
“Couldn’t find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something”.😇😇😇😇
Damn!!… He left with the house key too.
😂😂😂😂
*Moral: Don’t try to control your husband.
You will always lose
A Preacher finished the service one morning by saying, ‘Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars.
As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17.’
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, ‘Last week I asked you all to read Mark Chapter 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand.’ Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, ‘You are the very people I want to talk to today.. the liars ……. Mark has only 16 chapters.’
God have Mercy.
Somewhere in SA, a young girl is
telling your father “Grow up dude”