It’s painful being a side chick
Side chick : Hi baby
Guy : Sho chief zkhiphani ?
Side chick : just called to say I love you .
Guy : Sho commander nawe uyazi sisonke
Side chick : ok Good night baby
Guy : Viva comrade
Sub Categories
KUKHONA INTO ONGEKE UYICHAZE!!!!
IFarmer(umnikazi wePulazi) ihleli eTavern
etafuleni ibukeka iStressed iphuza ubeer ibambe
ikhanda, kuqhamuke uThisha neyakhe
ibeer ahlale kuleli tafula okuhleli kulo
iFarmer,abuze uthisha” haw nsizwa yakithi
wabukeka uneStress,Kwenzenjani?
Iphendule iFarmer”ey nsizwa yakithi kukhona
into ongeke uychaze”,
abuze futhi uthisha “haw kwenzenjani?”,
iphendule ifarmer”bengisenga inkomo
ubisi,luthe seligcwele ibhakede,yalikhahlela
ibhakede ngonyawo lakwaLeft,lwachitheka ubisi”,
aphendule uthisha”haw yin ewrong lapho?
ngoba phela uma ilithichile usenga olunye”,
iphendule ifarmer”ey nsizwa yakithi kukhona
into ongeke uychaze ndoda!,
ngidonse inkomo
ngaybeka esangweni lesibaya ngase ngabopha
umlenze wakwaLeft ogodweni olukwaLeft
ngafaka ugodo lokbopha ikhanda phambili
nyana nesango phakathi esibayeni,ngasenga
futhi,luthe selugcwele yalukhahlela futhi
ngonyawo lakwaRight This time, ngase
ngabopha unyawo lakwaRight ogodwen
lakwaRight yavuleka imilenze yenkomo”,
uthisha athi”qhubeka kwase kwenzakalani? Im
sure kusengeke kahle”.
Iqhubeke ifarmer ichaze ithi”ewu nsizwa
yakithi kunento ongeke uychaze!
ngisengile futhi,luthe seluzogcwala ubisi,inkomo
yalushaya ngomsila lwachitheka lonke ubisi”,
UThisha athi”hawuu,wenze njani ke mayenza
nje,im Sure ubophele umsila emzimbeni wayo
inkomo?”,
iqhubeke ichaze ifarmer ithi”ewu nsizwa
yakithi kunento ongeke uychaze!, IMPELA
ngiwbophile umsila ibhakede belisawile
kanjalo,,,,inkinga nje ukuthi bese ziphelile
izintambo zokubopha so ngibe sengikhipha
ibhande lebhulukwe lami ngabopha umsila
emzimbeni,lapho ibhulukwe liwile
phansi…iUnder angiyfaki…lithe lisawe kanjalo
ibhulukwe kwaqhamuka uNkosikazi wami”,
ababaze uthisha”hawu utheni yena?”,
iphendule ifarmer “ewuu nsizwa yakithi
kukhona into ongeke uychaze…..
UThembi usebenza emakhishini kodwa uqala ukungasayiboni kahle indoda yakhe ngesikhwele, engu Romeo. Afone ngefoni yemsebenzini.
Ngriii,
Romeo ‘halo’
thembi ‘ukup love’?
Romeo ‘ngsendlini’
thembi ‘akushaye ikomishi ngespunu ngizwe’
Romzz ‘nqi nqi nqi’
thembi ‘thanx baba ngyakthanda’
kuqhubeke ehlala efona kusenzeka kanje.
Ngelinye ilanga uThembi aphume early emsebenzini afike endlini athole u Eric,umntanabo edlala yedwa endlini.
‘hawu Tinky,uyep ubabakho?’
Eric ‘angimazi mama kodwa uhambe nespunu nekomishi
kwati ngelinye ilanga ngizishukela ugwayi oluhlaza ngezwa sekuma iveni yamaphoyisa esangweni,ngsheshe ngiyishutheke kwi bhayibheli, angene aqonde endlini yami ngoba nomnyango wawuvulekile
Phoyisa : ndoda singamthola umfowenu?
Gumede : Cha akekho SGT
Phoyisa : (lithathe ibhayibheli)sicela ukukushiya ne vesi umfundele mayefika” *,kuvele insangu *
Phoyisa : yini le ?”
Gumz : akusiyo nje I underwear ka Adam ngoba wayegqok’ amahlamvu nje
Jabu: hey baby I’m coming 2day
Sli : I’m on my periods just incase
Jabu: I’m sori love I’m not coming
imoto yami seyiphumelwe isondo
Sli: Wothi umngan wakho
akak’lethe
Jabu: udutshulwe izolo
usesbhedlela
Sli : k angbonanga kahle angikho
kuma periods
Jabu: nangu umngan wam
engfonela uthi phume izolo
esbhedlela
Sli: weh naku ngi ngena kuma
periods
Jabu: oh Jesu naku umngan wam
bephinda bemdubula..
Why Mother is always so Special?
When I came home in the Rain,
Father asked :”why didn’t u take an
umbrella??
” Sister advised : “why didn’t u wait till the
rain stopped??
” Brother angirly warned :”Only after getting
a cold u will realize!!
” But Mother,while drying my hair,said:
“Stupid Rain !
couldn’t it wait till my child came
home…??!!
That’s why!
All mothers are special,GOD bless umaNdlovu wami bese eblesser lowakho umama. 4 those who lost their mothers um sorry zithandwa, they still love you wherever they are and I LOVE YOU TOO.
“I was raped at the age of 9″ – Oprah Winfrey”
I didn’t even complete my University Education” – Bill Gates
” In my childhood days, I stitched shoes” – Abraham Lincoln
“I struggled academically throughout elementary school” – Ben Carson
“I used to serve tea at a shop to support my football training” – Lionel Messi
“I used to sleep on the floor in friends’ rooms,returning Coke bottles for food money, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple” – Steve Jobs
“My teachers used to call me a failure”- Tony Blair.
Life is not about what you couldn’t do so far, it’s about WHAT YOU STILL CAN! SO NEVER GIVE UP.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,”he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand andwhispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”
Yesterday I was at the mall, when I went to a public toilet. Immediately when I sat down. i had this conversation with an unknown
man
Man: hello
Me: yebo
Man: what are you doing there
Me: same thing you are doing there I guess
Man : baby I’m too horny ngingeza ngalapho
Me: (surprised ) Bhuti asazani mina nawe so please singaphaphelani
Man: okay baby, oh before I forget ngizokupha le R2200
Me : ( thinking “but R2200 for one round is a lot of money”) okay ke bhudi
Man : thank honey
Me:(by that time besengicabange lentsha tsha icavella) yiza Phela, but you must give me the money first
Man : baby I have to call you later there’s some idiot who answer all my question when I’m talking to you
Imagine “You go to the drug shop to buy poison to
kill yourself but you still wait for your change…😳😳😳😳😳
are you serious?! “