Nongoma be like👇
:-[ Bae ngicela ungithengela i network ngifuna ukukhuluma nawe ukude😇
Yeeer fuck tup location😮😮😮😂😂😂
Bani ofuna ukuyohlala khona?
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Bamba la ngsekhathi uNkulunkulu edala ilanga wayenenhloso ngalo yokuthi lizokhanyisa nsuku zonke emini,nangempela ukuze sibe nokukhanya emini ingoba ilanga lisuke likhona.
Engfuna ukubambeke nakhu ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi lalidalelweni nsuku zonke ilanga emhlabeni liyasikhanyisela,noma kungaba namafu kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kufaneke liphume likhanyise,noma izulu lingaduma libe nezimvula ngeke ulibone ilanga lithi awuthi ngphindele emumva ngoba liyaduma kodwa liyaqhubeka ukusikhanyisela.
Lalelake ilanga alishintshi noma kukhona amafu amnyama esbhakabhakeni Ngeke ubone sekusebusuku emini.
Umuntu kuphela emhlabeni othi mayefikelwe izikhathin zobumnyam ezinzima bese elahla ithemba,umuntu kuphela othi uma edibana nezingqinamba empilweni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi wayedalelweni,futhi umuntu kuphela othi mayehlangana nabangani,noma nabantu abahlukahlukene emhlabeni bese ekhohlwa ukuthi kambe mina ngfunani,khumbula ngithe ukuba khona kwamafu amanyama emkhathin ngek lokho kwalenza ilanga labuyela emumva ngoba liyazi ukuthi kumele lisikhanyisele.
Mtaka baba nawe bengthanda namhlanje sengathi ungalibuka ilanga bese ucabangaka ukuthi kulobobumnyama ohlangene nabo,noma lezonyembezi,lolosizi obhekene nalo aluzanga ukuzokushabalalisa impilo yakho kodwa luzokubheka ukuthi mangabe sifike empilweni yakho ngeke ukhohlwe yini ukuthi ufunani,khumbula ngthe mina noma imvula ina,noma izulu liduma kodwa ilanga alikhohlwa ukuthi kambe emhlabeni ngangizokwenzani liyaqhubeka likhanyise.
Namhlanje ngthanda ukukhuluma nawe ulahliwe,ushonelwe abazali bakho bonke,ukhala izinyembezi umsebenzi ungawutholi,usufake ama Cv yonke indawo kodwa ungaphenduli,ngzokhuluma nawe waliwe uphoxwe umuntu obumthanda,ngzokhuluma nawe eskoleni kungacaci kahle,omakhelwane bekuhleba,bekubukela phansi,ungenayo imali yokudla,ungenamuntu ongakhalela kuye,bekuhleka,bekhombisana ngawe ngamakhanda bethi uyagula unegciwane,sebekushilo ukuthi ngeke uthole umshado kodwa namhlanje ngfuna ukuthi uthathe lesikhathi esincane bese ubuka phezulu nasemhlabeni ukuthi akukhanyi yini.Ngithe kuwe isimo noma sinjani ilanga elibhekene naso alikhohlwa ukuthi emhlabeni kumele kukhanye,nawe ngane yakwethu ungavumeli izimo ezenzeka empilweni yakho ukuth zikwenze ukhohlwe ukuthi ufunani.
Ziyashintshashintshana izimo ngaphansi kwelanga uthole kunamafu amnyama,liduma,lina kodwa lona lilokhu likhanyisile…. nawe noma zingashintshana izimo phezu kwalowo mzimba wakho ungakhohlwa ukuthi yini Ofuna ukuyizuza empilweni
RIP Mama uWinnie Madikizela Mandela!!!
Sacela mawufika ngale utshele uTata Madiba ukuthi kubi!!!!
Kuyabheda la eMzansi!!!!
1. kune EFF elwa noMsholozi!!
2. UZuma akesesiye upresident
3. URamaphosa uthi singawudli uPolony😭😭😭😭
4. UMalusi Gigaba unyuse iVAT seyiwu15%💔💔💔
5. Sesino Zodwa wabantu ongaligqoki iphenti!!!!
6. Kubi nje la eMzansi kulahleke noDuduzane
7. Ayiduri Data ithi go garanti kanti uFree mode uyabhora uzithola sewureacta ngo❤ kanti kufakwe isthombe se-Ex yakho😭😭😭😭
8. We miss your Dance(Madiba Jive) safa yiVosho!!!!!
9. Syakukhumbula Tata, you won’t believe ukuthi amacala kaZuma asenciphe kanjani😳😳😳 from 700+ to just 16!!!!!
10. Cishe ngakhohlwa, sesiphelile uNkunzi entshontha izimoto kwaMashu nebhlukwe eliyi pyjama!!!
Kuningi nje Tata angeke kuphele kunanama Gupta phakathi!!!!
Please Mama Winnie udlulise sana!!!
Mr. Jones is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mr. Jones is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to receive 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn’t want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Jones is first.
“What do you wish for yourself?”
“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings.”
“Okay, that shall be granted to you.”
Mrs. Jones has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
Next it is Mr. Jones’ mother-in-law’s turn.
“What do you wish for yourself?”
“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end and a pillow bound on my back before the lashings.”
“Okay, that shall be granted to you.”
The mother-in-law receives her fifty lashes, but hardly feels the pain through the pillows.
Then comes Mr. Jones himself.
“What do you wish for yourself?”
“I have two wishes. Do you want to fulfill them for me?”
“Because you are a guest in our country, we want to fulfill your wishes for you, as long as they are reasonable.”
“I would like 100 lashes instead of 50.”
The executioner is surprised, but recovers again right away and replies, “Yes, that is a pious wish, it shall be granted to you. And what is your second wish?”
“I would like to have my mother-in-law bound to my back.
A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office. The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. ”
“You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is. ”
The husband turns to his wife and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear. “
A sophisticated looking Muslim lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down.
The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated Muslim lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.
To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her long Silk Black Top and points to her right inner thigh – very high up. “Right here,” she says, “I want you to tattoo a Moon and Star and underneath it I want the word “Eid Mubarak.”
Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, “On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word Christmas.”
The owner looks at her. “Ooh, lady, it’s none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I’ve ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that?
“Well,” the lady said, “I’m sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there’s never anything good to eat between Eid and Christmas.”
A man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98.
After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
“Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?”
The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down…
And I know for sure, he won’t ask for directions.”
Ungayithandazisi ingane ngenkani
uNyaa 9yrs ucelwa ukuba athandazele ukudla kwantambama kukhona namavisitor
“Nkosi nkulunkulu mdali womhlaba naku langikhona ngicela baba ungibuyisele ikhaya lami.
La ekhaya nkosi angisasuthi ngenxa yalezingane zo anti ezigcwele la kithi azidli mdali ungathi ukudla ziyaqala ukukubona amatoyizi ami aphuke wonke ngicela nkosi ukhulule izinyawo zabo bakwazi ukuya emakubo ngingakazaci
Ngithandazela nomama nkosi ake ahlukane nalemkhuba ayenza nobaba weposi embhedeni kababa,nobaba naye ngiyacela nkosi umenze abone ukuthi lento ayenza nalomfelokazi umaGcwensa ayilungile ngoba kwamali yeskole ayikhokhiwe uyidla nalomama ozilile.
Siza nkosi b4 ngiba istreet kid Amen wathi eqeda unina wayesequlekile uyise engasabonwa
Njengomunye ugogo kwafika amapholisa emzini wakhe bezombopha ngoba epheka itototo.
Pholisa: “gogo sesikubophile asambe ”
Gogo: ” ngenzeni futhi mntanami? ”
Pholisa: “angithi upheka itototo lapha ekhaya. ”
Gogo: “kodwa phela khathesi kangilayo ephekiweyo ”
Pholisa:”ye gogo, awulayo kodwa izinto zonke zokupheka itototo sizitholile lapha ”
Gogo:”kulungile mntanami asihambe kodwa kasivumelane lapha lami ngyafika ngikuvulela icala lokuthi ubufuna ukungidlwengula ”
Pholisa:”aah kanjani gogo mina ngingazange ngize ngikuthinte? ”
Gogo:”kodwa angithi konke okokudlwengula ulakho khonapho ”
Pholisa: “usale kahle gogo “
Johane :Aunty umfazi onatha utshwala kuyayenza yini ukwakha laye umuzi?
Aunty :okudingakalayo ma usakha mtanami yisamende, izitina, inhlabathi lamanzi. Yena abe esehlala ezinathele utshwala bakhe phakathi 😂😂😂
Uvuka njani mhlobo wami