UNBELIEVABLE FACTS!

It takes 7seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
A human hair can hold 3kg.
The length of man’s penis is 3x the length of his thumb.👍
A humans heart beats faster than a man.
A women blink 2x as much as men.

A women has read this entire post…
A man is still looking at his thumb.

I’ve just received sad news that my ex was hit by a truck…
Let me hope that nothing happened to the truck

Women are like swimming pools never mind about who swam before you ,
who is swimming with you or
who will swim after you.
My brother just enjoy your swim

My cousin thinks she can play me. She took my phone and sent a break up message to my girlfriend. I then took her phone and saved my number as *Job Update* and sent her a job invitation
Now she z on her way to Jo’burg from Limpopo for a job interview

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!
1. Our Phones Wireless
2. Cooking – Fireless
3. Cars – Keyless
4. Food – Fatless
5. Tyres – Tubeless
6. Tools – Cordless
7. Dress – Sleeveless
8. Youth – Jobless
9. Leaders – Shameless
11. Relationships- Meaningless
12. Attitude – Careless
13. Wives – Fearless
14. Babies – Fatherless
15. Feelings – Heartless
16. Education – Valueless
17. Children – Mannerless
18. Government – Useless
19. PARLIAMENT- CLUELESS
20. MASSES – HELPLESS
[ME- Speechless]

A man went into a restaurant and ordered
his meal. When the waitress came out with
his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb
stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go.
She then brought out his chili, and again her
thumb was in the food. He let it go again.
When she brought out his hot fudge
sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and
this was too much for him. “WTF,” said the
man, “get your damn thumb out of my
food!’ “Well, I injured it a while ago and the
doctor said I should keep it warm.” “Why
don’t you just shove it up your ass?” the
man said angrily. “That’s what I do when
I’m in the kitchen.”

Man of god = MOG
Woman of god = WOG
Son of god = SOG
Daughter Of God =?

During a job interview:
Manager: What’s the highest level of
education you obtained?
Eric: PHD
Manager: Great! So that means you have a
Doctor’s degree …
Eric: Well, No..That means i
Passed Highschool with Difficulties (P.H.D.)

Me And My boss
Him: Do you think you can come to work
on Saturday this week? I really need you
here.
Me: Yeah no problem, but I’ll probably be
late though as the public transport is bad
on weekends.
Him: Ok, when do you think you will arrive
here then?
Me: Monday.

Why I will never teach pre-school kids AGAIN
……
.
At the creche where I work, there is a little
girl named Vicky. She is so cute and
sweet.Yesterday, just before knocking off, I
found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.I
approached her, and offered to help her. It
was
such a torrid time. The boots seamed to be
smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes
to help her wear them. When we were done,
after making a steps away from her, she
called me said
“Teacher, you made me wear banana”.
When I looked at her shoes, to my
embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced
her shoes – the banana style. Upon trying to
take off the shoes again, it took me 3
minutes. After struggling so much I
eventually managed to remove them and
tried putting them on again, this time the
correct way. However, it was more difficult
than the first time.
When I finished, she said: “Teacher, these
shoes
are not mine!”
I really got angry, but since I work with little
kids,
I had to be patient and control my anger. I
struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked
Vicky where her own shoes were and this is
what she said:
“These shoes belong to my sister, my mum
is the
one who made me wear them in the
morning today”.
This time I boiled in anger. But since I
always do
my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I
helped her to put on the shoes again. When
we were done, Vicky pulled another
shocker, yet again.
“What about the socks, teacher?” she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.
Politely and swiftly I asked her, “Where are
the socks Vicky?”
She innocently replied: “I shoved them in my
shoes, they are in front of my toes”
I simply resigned!