1.REAL NAME: Rainbow Hlongwane
2.NICKNAME: chemical
3.SEX: MALE
4.NATIONALITY: South African
5.HOBBIES: collecting teeth from live
crocodiles,
catching bullets with bare hands.
6. MY RECORDS: fought with a lion and broke
its
neck, skinned a crocodile alive, and held
breathe
under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6
hours,5
minutes and 45 seconds.
7. GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS: went to heaven
to
charge my phone and the first man to land
on
sun.
8.SILLIEST THING I’VE DONE: swimming in a
tsunami and driving towards a volcano.
9.EMBARRASSING MOMENT: couldn’t kill 100
lions with one punch but though 99 died
and the
remaining one is now cripple.
10.PROUDEST MOMENT: a cobra died after
biting
me.
11.HARDEST MOMENT: jumped from an
aeroplane and landed safely on a cricket
pitch.
12.SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don’t like lying.

Me: can I buy you a drink??
Her: no alcohol is bad for my legs
Me: do they swell
Her: they open up easily
Me: thats the plan

Conversation between a Teacher and Mbula….
.
Teacher : Assume your in the jungle and a lion is about to attack you,what will you do.?
Mbula : I will stop assuming.

To all fools who dont believe in God because they have never seen him,
they do the same to their brains ,so their brains doesnt exist!

I bought a cellphone from an Indian shop
Then when I switch it off it says “Goodbye My Friend”

My doctor told me i have 7 months to live because of cancer,
i killed that Doctor and Judge gave me 20 years..

Dear ladies,
The silence u keep when you find money in your husband’s pocket during laundry should be the same silence u should maintain when you find condom in his pocket!

Yesterday my pressing iron stopped working so I went to my neighbour’s house and asked to borrow Thiers. They told me to come and use it in their house and I did.
Today my neighbour came and asked if I could borrow them the broom, so I asked them to come and use it in my house…
Tit for tat!!!!!!