I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life
but I’ve never tagged 49 people on my
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What is Love?
Love is when your Husband catches you naked
with another man and says “Baby dress up lets go home”
.
What is Death.
Death is when you agree with Him
When your girl says she’s going out with her Gay friends on weekend & you remember that Somizi has a daughter
Guys when they catch their girl cheating will be “selalala kangaki?”
As if he is going to handle it well when she says 20 times.
Dont ask things you won’t handle pliz.
Not Easy to be a Teacher !!!!!*
*TEACHER*: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
*TEACHER* : What is photosynthesis class?
*Cynthia*: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
*TEACHER* : How can we keep our school clean?
*Atem*: By staying at home.
*TEACHER* : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
*Ngu*: We don’t call them, they come on their own.
*TEACHER* : Name the nation people hate most
*Asong*: Exami-nation
*TEACHER* : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
*Lekeaka*: Future impossible tense.
*TEACHER* : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
*Atabong* : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you
Please don’t Laugh Too much. Teachers have a steep mountain to climb.
*THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES*
When an Eagle builds it’s nest, it collects thorny branches and uses them as a foundation for the nest, then it collets soft feathers to cover the thorns. When the baby Eagle’s are old enough to fly but are too relaxed because of the comfort of the nest, the mother Eagle then removes the feathers so that the baby’s can feel the pain of the thorns and know that its time to leave the nest and fly on their own. When God wants to move you to higher ground, he will remove the soft feathers of the comfort zone you’re in so you can experience the painful thorns , the purpose is not to harm you, but for you to know that it’s time to fly to higher ground.
A very good day to you
in a court of law:
.
Magistrate: Why did you hit your husband by a chair?
Accused Lady: Because I couldn’t lift the table.
The best car in the world is a woman… Ask me why
—2 beautiful headlights in the front
—2 great bumpers at the back.
—Self -lubricating when hot.
—Finger touch ignition.
—Automatic engine oil change every month.
—Any type of piston fits.
—Multiple seating styles & adjustments.
—Great accessories.
—Highest mileage 9months with just 5ml refill.
—It’s only repaired by God cos there is no spare parts.
“That’s why MEN are dying to own one”: please send to the other luxurious cars u know, and to the men who appreciate fine vehicles.
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the air-planes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. “$20 each for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you’ll have to pay $40.” The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, “I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.” “Maybe so,” said the farmer, “But I got to tell you, I almost screamed when my wife fell out!”
There is a truck driver who whenever he sees a Politician walking down the street, he always swerves to hit him. One day he sees a priest on the side of the road looking for a ride and so the truck driver picks him up. While they were driving, the driver sees a Politician , and swerves to hit him. But then he remembered he had a priest in the truck, so he swerved back on the road, but he heard a loud “thump” anyway. So the driver turns to the priest and says “Please forgive me,” and the priest said, “You didn’t hit the Politician , but that’s OK, I got him with the door.”