I overhead my mom praying for me saying
“no alcohol shall touch my son’s lips” I laughed and said,I’m
gonna use a straw.
😁😁😁😁😁
The devil is a liar

Bill: Why are you so tense?
Jack: Just fought with my wife. That woman just fights for no reason at all.
Bill: Why what happened?
Jack: We both were excited and about to start having sex …
she removed her Top and jeans ….
I just asked why are you wearing your sister’s Underwear ..

Ngoni:* How are you dear?
*Mary:* I’m fine thanks!
*Ngoni:* So what’s your favorite color?
*Mary:* Ohh please, stop asking stupid questions! Ask me something more interesting and intellectual please.
*Ngoni:* Ooh, how many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of Sulfuric Acid at standard temperature and pressure?
*Mary:* Eeer bemgizidlalela mina; my favorite colour is dark white!

*To all real men out there you should please note*
Next year We Dating Girls With Real Eyebrows..
The Drawers Will Draw Their Own Boyfriends.
Happy 2018

So you go to your girlfriends place
without notice and find another guy ,
Then you get hurt,
But my brother the bible says
only Jesus will come like a thief without notice,
you are not Jesus, stop being emotional.

10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY:
1. Give him sex
2. Obey him.
3. Love his parents.
4. Respect his siblings.
5. Never argue with him.
6. Always make him feel he’s the superior. 7. Never investigate his phone.
8. Kiss him when he insults you.
9. Don’t waste his property.
10. Support him when he’s broke.
10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY:
1. Give her money.
2. Always give her money.
3. Continue to give her money.
4. Keep giving her money.
5. Never get tired of giving her money.
6. Give her money even before she asks.
7. Just continue to give her money.
8. Just keep giving her money.
9. Just never get tired of giving her money.
10. Just give her money even before she asks.

After church on Sunday, Skebhe’s wife saw her husband sitting quietly at the sitting room. She got concerned and decided to ask him, “Darling, why are you sitting so quiet?
What is it that is bothering you?”
Skebhe replied, “I’m still thinking about what the pastor said.
It’s making me uncomfortable.”
His wife asked, ”What is it?”
He replied, ”The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but only one woman didn’t want to sleep with him.”
The wife replied, “It must be that Mrs LUKHELE. She thinks she is better than everyone!”

I saved my Girl’s contact
with her real name on my
phone book but usually when i
pick her call i say “HI LOVE”….
.
So yesterday, i ran out of air time
while talking to her, so i had to
use my friend’s phone to call her
without he notice, when i dialed
her number on his phone, it
displayed “MY LOVE”. . . So i was
wondering how that
smartphone knew i was calling
her.
.
Samsung Smart phones are really smart shame!!!!

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunk, with a ragged, dirty looking (Skebhe) came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him. Skebhe was given a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, “It’s red wine, a Muscat, three years old, grown on a western of the Cape slope, matured in steel containers.”
“Correct,” said the boss, Another glass.
“It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old,a western slope, oak barrels.”
“Correct.” The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine.
Skebhe The alcoholic tried it.
“It’s a Nguni girl (Zulu,Swazi or Xhosa) 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who the father is.”
The director collapsed.