“In our neighbourhood there was a woman who used to steal a lot,she stole everything she came accross.
One day she got sick and went to the doctor,the doctor left her in his room for few minutes.as per her habits,she thought “What can i steal?”
Luckly there was meat on a tupperware on the table and she ate all of it,thinking it was BiltoN.
When the Doctor returned,he noticed that the tupperware was empty and asked her:”Didn’t u see the Foreskins of the boys I’ve just cut This Morning??
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After taking photos, the photographer says to the school headmaster “these will cost $250”
*headmaster to teachers: “tell the pupils to bring $2 each for the photos”
*teachers to pupils: “tell yo parents that we want $5 for the photos”
*pupils to parents: “mummy,the teacher said
we shud take $10 for the school photos”
*mother to husband: “honey, these money hungry schools. ..imagine junior’s teacher told him to take $30 for the school photo”
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And u think corruption will end???
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence
Hope is important because it can
make the present moment less difficult to bear.
If we believe that tomorrow will be better,
we can bear a hardship today.
Give the world the best you have and
the best will come back to you.
– Madeline Bridges
Date a guy who respects you as a woman. Date a guy who knows how to treat you like a lady. Date a guy who knows how sensitive you are.
Date a guy who doesn’t know how to raise his voice at you. Someone who doesn’t know how to hurt a woman like you because he’s a real man and he knows hurting women is wrong.
Lastly, date a man who makes genuine efforts to make you happy. You deserve a guy who makes you smile, not someone who makes you cry.
A Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1 AM & is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.”
*Police:* Really….??? Sounds interesting… Who is giving that lecture at this time of night???
*Man replies*, “My wife!!!”
*A man was walking naked in jungle. When the animals saw him, they all ran away*.
*The zebra then asked the lion, “even u, King of the jungle?”*
*The lion replied, “My friend, Keep jokes aside. That’s a strange animal. The Tail is in front*.
A rapist entered a bedroom, tied up the husband and wife, kissed the wife’s ear and went to the bathroom… The husband said to the wife “satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love u” Wife said “he didn’t kiss me, he whispered in my ear dat he is gay, he needs vaseline and I told him it’s in the bathroom. So be strong, I love u too….
*Project Manager* is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in just One month.
*Procurement manager* is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
*Operations Manager* is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month if she works harder.
*Marketing Manager* is a person who convinces anyone that he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman is available.
*Financial Budget* Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
* Planning and Technical Team* thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document the 9 months.
*Quality Manager/ Auditor* is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
*HR Manager* is a person who thinks that…even a Monkey can deliver a Human Baby – if given 9 Months.
*Customer* is the one who is absolutely clueless as to why he wants a baby….!!!!!
Dedicated for all corporate guys