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MY BEST FRIEND
—————————
Before the King went to war, he locked his wife (the beautiful Queen ), in the room & gave the key to his best friend & said:
“If I am not back within 4 days, open the room and she is yours”….
He sat on his horse & hit the road.
Half an hour later, the king noticed a dust cloud & sound behind him.
He stopped & saw his friend riding very fast towards him.
“What’s wrong ?” the King asked.
Out of breath, his friend answered,
“It’s the wrong Key…!! ”
😆🙆‍♂😂😹😝😎
Please beware of the one, whom you call your best friend.



When flood comes,
fish eats ants and
when flood recedes,
ants eat fish.
Only time matters.
For making soap,
oil is required.
But to clean oil,
soap is required.
This is the irony of life.
No one is self sufficient.
Everybody needs somebody at any point in time.
Do not despise or treat people any how.
No one knows tomorrow.

My wrk mate
Just received 2 sms from his wife
First sms: Let’s break up now, its all over
Second sms: sorry, sorry, sorry, that was not for you.
Now he does not know what to do, lets help

When two slenders walking too close
to each other they look like 11 o’clock .


There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!”
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort
of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. — Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. — Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. — Helen Rowland

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied, ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’. The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied, ‘Your horse phoned’


Little Johnny walks into his mother’s room and catches her topless.
”Mommy, Mommy, what are those?” he says pointing to her chest.
“Well, son,” she says, These are Mommies balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.
”Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, Johnny rushes into the kitchen.
“Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!”
“What do you mean?” says his mother.
“Well she’s out in the garden shed, lying on the floor.
Both of her balloons are out, Dad’s blowing them up, and she keeps yelling, ”God, I’m coming! God, I’m coming!”


What is uMhlola?
uMhlola is when you give a lift to a
beautiful girl and she faints in your car. You take
her to the hospital and the doctor says she is
pregnant and congratulates you that you will soon be
a father . You shout that you are not the father but
the girl insist that you are the father……
Things are now getting Mhlolaful you now
require a DNA test to prove that you are not the
father…
Things become Mhlolostic when the doctor
comes with results saying you cannot be the father
because you are infertile…. You are relieved but on
your way home you remember you are married with
three kids at home!…..
Now you are extremely Mhlolicious
Now you begin to ask yourself who is the father
to those three kids?… Now you get home to find out
the father to those kids is your gateman … You
are now Mhlolaned
You then decide to go to your mum to tell her the
sad news… Your mum with tears running down her
cheeks tells you ‘my son I’m so sorry….your dad isn’t
your real dad’…. Then you know things are
Mhlolacated
And if you dont forward this you are a
Mhlolacriosis

“🍀 Read with patience 🍀
USED 🚗 vs. LOVED❤
🌹While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.
🌹In anger, the man took the child’s hand and hit it many times;❤
🌹not realising he was using a wrench.❤
🌹At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.❤
🌹When the child saw his father…❤
🌹with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’❤
🌹The man was so hurt and speechless;❤
🌹he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.❤
🌹Devastated by his own actions…..❤
🌹sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;❤
🌹The child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.❤❤
🌹The next day that man committed suicide. . .❤
🌹Anger and Love have no limits;❤
🌹Choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life….❤❤.
🌹Things are to be used and people are to be loved.❤
🌹But the problem in today’s world is that,❤
🌹People are used and things are loved.❤
🌹Let’s always be careful to keep this thought in mind:❤
🌹Things are to be used,but People are to be loved.❤
🌹Watch your thoughts; they become words.❤
🌹Watch your words; they become actions.❤
🌹Watch your actions; they become habits.❤
🌹Watch your habits they become character;❤
🌹Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.❤
🌹I’m glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.❤
🌹God bless you.❤
🌹If you don’t pass this on nothing bad will happen;
🌹If you do, you might change someones’ life.❤
🌹Do u know the relationship between your two eyes?❤
🌹They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together & sleep together.❤
🌹Even though they never see each other.❤
🌹Friendship should be just like that!
🌹Life is vanity without FRIENDS.

Warning – this post will make you cry!
I just love these kinds of things!!
You should read the entire story to get the message
Subject: Two Choices
What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is:
Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning- disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered aquestion: “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and itcomes in the way other people treat that child.”
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much- needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”
Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps orward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!”
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming andstruggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second- baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay”
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third!”
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, “Shay, run home! Run home!” Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
“That day”, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world”.
Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the “appropriate” ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the “natural order of things.”
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two peoplepresent us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.