What do you call the security
outside Samsung Galaxy shop??
–
Guardians of the Galaxy

Wife hit her husband (Rich) with her frying pan

Rich: “what was that for…?”😡

Wife: “I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it”😠

Rich: “I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse”😐

Wife: “Oh sorry”😢

(Next day wife hit him with her frying pan again)😐

Rich: “What now…?”😩

Wife: “Your horse is on the phone

Stepfather: “what must i bring back for my kids?”😎

Kids: “Bring back our real father”

I always try to cheer myself up by singing
when I’m sad. Most of the time,
it turns out that my voice is worse
than my problems.
–

Dear Alcohol
We had a deal where you would make me funnier,
smarter and a better dancer……..
I saw the video of myself……. We need to talk.

Why can’t Satan just swallow his pride and
go and apologise to God so that we can
go back to the Garden of Eden and
stay naked coz clothes are too expensive.

*Lady 1:*
My husband has swallowed a Paracetamol by mistake,

what shall I do now ?

.

.

.

*Lady 2:*
Give him some headache now,

why waste the medicine

_*A SINCERE APOLOGY:*_

_A man received this message from his neighbor_…
_”Sorry sir_, _I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in fact_, _much more than you do_.
_I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty_. _Hope you will accept my sincere apologies_.” _I will pay if you wish to charge service fee_

Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.

A few minutes later, he received another message:
“Sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
I meant _*WiFi*_ not ~Wife~.”

Patience is a Virtue.