You text her on 20:00
She respond @ 20:02
What she was doing at 20:01??
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Some of you they never text their mothers on womens day to wish them bt today they will spend a lot of money to their womans who are cheating on them!!
I feel like I’ve changed , but not for the better it seems like I’ve just got worse
I went to a restaurant …
All the couples were seated there and no place for me to sit
I took out my mobile, placed near my ear and said loudly –
Bro come fast to this restaurant, she is seating here with someone else.
9 girls stood and ran away ..
I met a v smart Girl Richa practising as a lawyer , at the post office.
She was posting about 4 dozen cards.
I asked her what was the occasion?
She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as “Guess Who” and sent to all the married men in and around her society.
She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 4 divorce cases.
So this time she wanted to increase her business.
Teacher: alright class take out ur books
Nasty C : Hell no
Teacher : my class,rules
Busiswa : nomungafak’ipanty enelace yim’istering
Teacher : ( angry) are u talking to me ?
Emtee : Am talking about pearl Thusi
Teacher : I sad take out ur books
Distraction boys : haiiboo
Teacher : who said that ?
OkmalumkooltzKat : Nam’angazinje ngizwengento nje ithi Qgi
Teacher : I’ll beat you Beeny Maverick : ngizomemeza
Teacher : Hey you, why are u sleeping ?
Dr Malinga : anglalang’izolo
Teacher : why didn’t u sleep ?
Beeny Maverick : omunye phezkomunye
Teacher : i’ll tell ur principal about ur behaviour
Babes Wodumo : principal Mnganwam
Teacher : I’m serious Casper Nyovest : phumakim
Teacher : Cleo is that you ?
DJ Cleo : ak siyim yile Qgom
My Brother, if she insists she will eat pizza or chocolate today, tell her to go read Numbers 9:11. The scripture is specific on the food to be taken on 14 February.
Num 9:11 In the second month on the fourteenth day in the evening they shall keep it; they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.
You get it? For today the laws of Moses will work
Bra Solly walked in a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the barman.
“Please give me 250g steak and pap and give everyone 500g steak and pap because when I eat I want everyone else to eat as well!”
The barman gave him his meal and everyone else theirs. When they finished their meal he shouted another order.
“Give me a bottle of brandy and everyone else a bottle of whisky (johhnie walker black) because when I drink I want everyone to drink”.
Everyone was happy and they started singing Bra Solly’s praises saying SOLLY is the man!!
When Solly finished his drink he shouted again,
“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill because when I pay for my meal and drinks I want everyone to pay for theirs!”
Bra Solly will be buried this coming Saturday!
Dear Auntie Dolly.
I’ve tried to be slim ,eating healthy foods,jogging but it doesn’t work at all.
Please help me.
Reply from Dolly
Just take your husband’s phone and go to what’s app messages you be slim.
Let the Lord be the centre of your life. Rest and trust in His favour, His wisdom, and His supply in all that you do. See Him and His grace in the midst of every troubling situation and you’ll see Him restore your family, relationships, and health to perfect wholeness (Col 1:17). God will give you what your heart desires when you delight in Him. Don’t carry weight that doesn’t belong on you, give it over to God. God has your back. Don’t stress out over how it’s all going to work out, trust God. Instead of saying, “Lord, why am I in this situation?” say, “Lord, how can I bring You glory in this situation?” When you begin to change your focus and get your eyes off of yourself and onto Him, that’s when you will begin to see solutions. “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24 let’s you know that God has the answers to your problems before they even arise. Stop worrying and know that He has you in His hand. Your entire life is taken care of by the Creator of all things. I pray the peace of God over you, comfort and confidence in the name of Jesus