How to calm a forward chick down:
.
Me: How are you
Her : I’m fine
Me : So what’s your favorite colour?
Her: Ohh please stop asking stupid question, ask me something logical and matured
Me : How many moles of Sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralise 0.8 ml of Sulphuric Acid at STP….
Her: my favourite colour is Pink
Sub Categories
Angulu FIRS:
If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentine’s Day.
Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.
Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.
Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day
Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.
Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.
And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!
Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start.
It’s also a school where you will never graduate.
It’s a school without a break or a free period.
It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It’s a school you will have to attend every day of your life.
It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
It’s a school founded by God:
1.On the foundation of love.
2.The walls are made out of trust.
3.The door made out of acceptance.
4.The windows made out of understanding
5.The furniture made out of blessings
6.The roof made out of faith.
Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.
God is the only Principal.
Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your
assignments for the day.
Never forget the C-word…Communicate.
Communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate,
Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate,
God is not finished with him/her yet.
So take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.
Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,
the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet
it’s a school better than any other.
It’s one of the best schools on earth;
joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.
Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.
To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.
More grace from God.
Send this to all your married friends to encourage them, and to your unmarried friends to counsel and educate them.
Beloved!
God bless you and bless your marriage.
“If the amount of energy generated through SEX in Africa was converted to electricity. No African Country can experience load shedding ever again.” ~Donald Trump 2016
Here is a proverb explaining why some corrupt politicians
usually don’t go behind bars;
“A mosquito that sucks blood from the testicles
receives the softest slap”
One day some friends dropped in on a couple without warning for a cup of tea. The wife pulled the husband aside & said, “There’s no sugar in the house, how can I serve tea?”
The husband winked at her & said, “Make tea without sugar for all, leave the rest to me.”
As soon as the tea was served the husband says to the guests, “Let’s play a game of chance. One cup of tea has no sugar, who ever gets it will take us all for dinner tonight.”
The result?
All guests claimed they had never tasted such sweet tea!
WIFE: *Honey let’s play a game*
HUSBAND: *Okay. What’s the game about?*
WIFE: *If I mention a fruit, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a colour, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you’ll give me all your salary for this month*
HUSBAND: *Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I’ll have your salary too right?*
WIFE: (smiles) *Yes darling!*
HUSBAND: *Okay* (stands up ready to run in any direction)
*Are you ready*
Husband: *Yes ready*
WIFE: *Orange!*
Its been 4 HOURS NOW…
The husband is still standing on the spot wondering if she meant the fruit or the color
*Moral lesson… After God, Fear Women!*
Umfundisi uyazihambela nje edlula e Police Station, abone ipholisa elihleli egedini lifunda ibhayibhili amangale ukuthi amapholisa lawo ayabala ibhayibhili . Asondele umfundisi athi kahle ngibuze nje umbuzo odakiweyo athi ‘ ngubani owabulala omunye phakathi kuka Cain lo Abel ? Umpholisa aphendule athi angazi ngena phakathi uzabona u constable ohlezi phakathi nguye obona ngeze murder , mina ngiku traffic .
Yesterday l went to a restaurant. l saw there was a WiFi service, so l asked for the password. The waitress told me eat first, so l placed my order. After eating l asked again for the password, and again, she told me eat first. Feeling frustrated, l ordered black coffee. After coffee, again l asked for the password. They told me eat first. Then angrily, l walked to the restaurant manager and asked for the password. He replied eat first !!! l was about to explode, when I finally saw a sign on the wall indicating “WiFi password…EAT FIRST”.*
-Sa chat
Foreigner : Hi beautiful.. Im Horny..
Pinay : Ohw. Nice name..
Girl: why are most of the men, cheaters?
Boy: because most of the girls, giving false hopes.
Girl: why don’t you know how to wait?
Boy: because we’re afraid you’re still lost.
Girl: you don’t make an effort.
Boy: we do but ignore it.
Girl: why do we always seem to be the wrong one?
Boy: because you’re actin. Nirerelate your life in the TV series. You wake up in reality!
Girl: we are now being stupid for you, then you are getting anything else.
Boy: we are not looking, it just happens that they will come in the time you are sulking in a useless thing.
Girl: we are sulking because we like affection.
Boy: we show you, but you are always pretending, when we are mad, you are more angry.
Girl: of course, we are a woman. Understand that.
Boy: we’re a man, understand our side as well. Not at all times we will allow you.
Girl: don’t you know that every day you are crying? But what do you do? Go with the gang and having fun as it doesn’t care.
Boy: you don’t know anything. When you hurt, we are more hurt, especially when we are the reason. We don’t need to show our tears to you because it’s nakakabakla. We are only able to investigate those things.
Girl: why are you scared to show your tears?
Boy: we don’t want to be weak in your vision. That’s what you want, right? The man who is brave. So sometimes, we also don’t do that we don’t do that we’re real because we love you
Girl: do you love us? Why don’t you express it?
Boy: you don’t want to believe it.
Girl: because you don’t certify.
Boy: do you want me to prove?
Girl: yes.
Boy: close your eyes.
(close the girl. The boy hugged him and kissed the forehead. Whisper together..)
Boy: Let’s get married.. –