UTira uthi uzovula iqembu lakhe likamaskandi next year, AmaTira Amahle.
Abaphuzayo baphuze fast, uDisemba uyaphela next week!
Ayikho indoda eyenzana i-profile picture, ngaphandle uma wena nonyoko nazi ukuthi nayenzani ingane yabantu. 🤔
Double period yeMaths yayingcono kabi kunalo Disemba! 😐
Ukufunda incwadi phansi kwesihlahla kuhle, kodwa kubuhlungu kwisihlahla sikubona uphethe umngani waso ngesandla.
Ma-2000, aniwakhumbuli nje la maxoki uma esethi: “Umsindo wenu ngiwuzwa ngile e-staff room!” 😏
NGEKE UBE NESIBINDI NJENGOMUNTU EDAKIWE.
UBheki ufika udakiwe kubo, kune-family meeting. Baphelele bonke.
GOGO: 👵🏽” Hawu lo mntwana! Ufika udakiwe futhi?”
BHEKI: 😡 “Thula wena salukazi ndini! Le nto engakwazi ukufaka i-airtime efonini.”
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BABA: 👨🏽🦱 “Hawu! Ukhuluma nomama kanjalo?”
BHEKI: “Awukahle-ke wena, umithise umfazi wabantu.”
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BAB’OMNCANE: 👨🏼🦱 “Hhayi bo! Wemfana khuzeka!”
BHEKI: “Uthini-ke wena owondla ingane okungeyona eyakho?”
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MAMA: 🙆🏼♀️ “Bheki mfana wami…”
BHEKI: 😯 “Wena-ke nje, ngizomtshela ubaba ukuthi kade ukuphi izolo.”
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MFOWABO: 👦🏽 “Hawu bafo, kahle…”
BHEKI: “Hhayi! Awume kancane wena, lent’edlisiwe.”
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SISI WAKHE: 👧🏽 “Hhayi Bheki! Kwanele manje!”
BHEKI: “Wena usuyamazi ubaba wale ngane oyikhulelwe?”
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MALUME: 👨🏾🦱 “Hhayi mshana!”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke konje wafa kanjani umalumekazi njengoba usucebile?” 🤔
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ANTI:🙆🏽♀️ “Hawu bakithi”
BHEKI: “Wena-ke nje ngizosho ukuthi ngakubamba wenzani nobaba walaphaya ngaphesheya kwaZwane.”
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MKAKHE: 😲 “Awu, kodwa babakhe!”
BHEKI: “Thula wena, abakufuni la ekhaya, bathi udla imali yami!” 😡
Ningashuthi-ke ukudla namhlanje please, 🤚🏽 ngiyanazi phela nina uma senibona i-mayonnaise.
CHRISTMAS HLAYA #2
USthera wayesanda kuthola ilicense yakhe yokushayela wase enquma ukucela kubaba wakhe ukuthi amthengele imoto kube yisipho sakhe sikaKhisimusi – kwakusasele izinyanga ngaphambi kukaKhisimusi.
“Kulungile,” kusho ubaba wakhe, “kodwa ngifuna kube nezinto ongenzela zona kuqala. Uma ungathola o-A ezifundweni zakho, ulikhuthalele iBhayibheli bese ugunda lama dlodlombiya ezinwele zakho mhlawumbe ngingasicabangisisa isicelo sakho.”
Kwadlula izinyangana, wabuyela kuyise uSthera.
“Kuyangithokozisa ukubona ukuthi ezifundweni zakho ushaya ngo-straight A’s ndodana, futhi nezifundo zakho zeBhayibheli ziyagculisa. Yize kunjalo, ngiyadumala ngezinwele zakho ongakazigundi.”
Ngoba uSthera wayeyinsizwa ezihlakaniphele futhi enezimpendulo kuyo yonke imibuzo waphendula uyise wathi: “Buka la baba, ezifundweni zami zeBhayibheli ngiqaphelile ukuthi emifanekisweni kaJesu, Moses, Samson kanjalo noJona uMbhabhadisi, bonke babenezinwele ezinkulu.”
“Yebo ngiyakwazi lokho,” kuphendula uyise, “kodwa uqaphelile ukuthi babehamba ngezinyawo noma ngabe beya kuphi?”
CHRISTMAS HLAYA
Abaningi abazi ukuthi uDombi unkosikazi kaThibhoz wathola uMgwaja bengakashadi. Wayeneminyaka engu-16 uDombi ngenkathi umama wakhe eya naye kwadokotela. Wayekhala ethi uyagula uDombi.
“Yebo-ke mama, ngabe yini inkinga?” kubuza udokotela.
“Yindodakazi yami egulayo dokotela,” kuchaza umama kaDombi, “uDombi lo usenokuhalela ukudla esingajwayele ukukudla ekhaya, futhi usekhuluphele mumva nje futhi ungitshela nokuthi uzizwa engaphilile njalo ekuseni.”
Axilonge uDombi udokotela. Uthe lapho eseqedile, waphendukela kumama kaDombi wathi, “Angazi ngizokutshela kanjani lokhu mama, kodwa indodakazi yakho kubukeka sengathi ikhulelwe. Zine izinyanga uma ngibheka nje.”
“Ukhulelwe? Kanjani? Akakaze ashiywa yedwa nomuntu wesilisa! Ngabe ukhulelwe ngempela Dombi mntanami?”
Athi uDombi, “Cha mama, angikaze ngayiqabula ngisho ukuyiqabula indoda!”
Udokotela ahambe aye efasteleni, alunguze ngaphandle kuze kuphele cishe imizuzu emihlanu yonke. Ekugcineni aze akhulume umama kaDombi athi, “Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle dokotela, lapho ngaphandle?”
Aphendule udokotela, “Cha, akukho mama. Ukuthi nje ngesikhathi igcina ukwenzeka into enjengalena, kwavela inkanyezi empumalanga kanye namadoda amathathu ngaleya kwentaba. Angifuni ukuphuthelwa this time!”