*Mxolisi:* _”Hey baby, ngi lana kini ngaphandle. Ukuphi?”_

*Gugu:* _”Eish baby, sorry angikho ekhaya ngila e-Jo’burg ngihambe izolo. Bow’funani?”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Eish, ag no it’s fine baby. I wanted to see you, ngino Ten Thousand Rand.”_

*Gugu:* _”Eh, baby!.. Okay just give me five minutes, I’ll be there!”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Hawu, 5 minutes from e-Jo’burg baby?”_

*Gugu:* LOL _”No, relax-a baby. Silana kwamngane wami, sithi kuse Jo’burg. It’s just two blocks away from ekhaya, ngiyeza now now my love.”_

*Mxolisi:* _”Okay ke baby, sizokulinda.”_

*Gugu:* _”Hawu nizongilinda? Kanti uhamba nobani?”_

*Mxolisi:* LOL _”Oh eish, sorry s’thandwa sami. Ngino Lindo, umngane wami wase Thekwini. Uyam’khumbula mos, angithi? We call him u ‘Ten Thousand Rand’ sometimes.”_



WHITES: I didn’t think he’d be such a bad person hey…

BLACKS: Ngimbone evela nje nge-spotti se-Dickies namehlo athusayo. Igazi lami lathi shaaarrrr… Ngavele ngathi lo akalunganga nex !!

I was watching Friends Like These the other day
.
.
So the guys went to Face 2 Face… They all had white chairs except for one friend…
.
Dj SBU: Asim’ shiyeni Bafwethu, uzo understander
.
Friends’ Hahaha siyam’ shiya
.
.
Eish😒
.
The nigga wasukuma… Went straight to the first guy
.
“Ngicela iskipa Sam”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘
.
Friend: Kabza kau, we on TV come on… Why wenza sow??
.
The guy continued “Mfethu ngicela iskipa… Nihambeni kahle”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
Sisabhekile kanjalo, he went to the second guy
.
“Manqoba… Ngicela iR300 yam mfethu… Ubungani buphelile”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
Dj SBU was just staring there laughingπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘
.
This nigga ubabambe ngama washinπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
“Anihambi ninga ngiphanga izinto zam”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
The older one tried to talk to the nigga
.
“Ndoda come on, this is childish”
.
The nigga turned to him “Wena unga khulumi… Ngi frayza i-iron yasekhaya”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ Live on televisionπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
Dj SBU got worried and stopped laughing
.
“Hai man boy, you’ll get your things. Why you humiliating your friends on TV??”
.
.
“Wena Dj Sbu unga khulumi please… Uyazi angina bazali??😭”
.
Eh I stopped laughing lapho😒
.
Their other friend said “Let’s give it a try guys… We can’t leave him”
.
The nigga turned to him “Kuzok’ siza loko… Cause nawe ngizofuna wonke ama shirt wam”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
Hebanna… Mxm that night… Friends Like These played for 2 hoursπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
We saw Andile for the first time that Saturday nightπŸ˜‚
.
Nigga kept saying “Anihambi ngingaka tholi izinto zam… You guys are fake friends…”
.
.
Andile said “Is an opportunity of a lifetime” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘
.
They had to phone umama ka ntanga to talk to her son and let the niggas goπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
Kwafika nabo Gadaffi ku Friends Like These… Angithi vele Generations bayenzela next to Friends Like These studios…
.
I’ll never forget that night…
.
Amajita ended up akhumula iympahla live on televisionπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
.
“Vrega ungakhohlwa naleyo jean eyami”
.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘
.
Bekuyi sono shemπŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

uNontroyi Umbona NgongaphenduLi i inbox πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Coz Uyazazi Uba U Weak


Bafowethu ngicela lingibonise la nginenkinga la, inkinga yami yinkinga Yokuthi izinkinga zami seziyinkinga yazi ngisenkingeni.

umuzwe athi akayidli I kota kanti whe khaya kubo kulalwa ngama zambhane kuvukwa nge khabish


SIKUJWAYELE LOKHU NJENGABANTU ABAMNYAMA:

1. Silobole kuphele 5 years, umshado dololo.

2. Abazihluphi nge-divorce, they just separate for the rest of their lives.

3. Bahlezi be-late emasontweni, emsebenzini and everywhere else ngaphandle uma kuyiwa ebumnandini, especially when “Club entry is free before 11pm.”

4. I-Diabetes siyibiza ngoshukela.

5. I-toothpaste yonke ekhona ibizwa nge-Colgate.

6. Ubathola be-driver imoto etown, ivuliwe amawindi ngisho kuthiwa liyana ngoba befuna ukubonwa or umuntu abamaziyo khona bezombingelela.

7. Emicimbini baswenka beconse khona bezobukwa, kodwa abafiki nazipho (presents).

8. Umndeni nomndeni kuba khona isihlobo esine-criminal record.

9. Uma befa bashiya izikweletu, engabe bashiya amafa.

10. Uma bephukelwe yifriji balenza ikhabethe.

11. Uma begugelwe yiphentihosi balenza iduku.

12. Ushaye u-callback uthi ungibhazile.

13. Ugugelwe yithawula ulenze isikorobho.

14. Isitsha se-Rama siphatha ngaso ukudla emsebenzini.

15. Steelwool senziwe u-cricket.

16. Umbhede usekwe ngezitini.

17. Ibhodlela le-mayonnaise siliphendula ibhodlela likasawoti kumbe lika-curry powder.

18. Sigeza sizikhuhle ngesaka lama-orintshi.

19. Ama-corn flakes kuthiwa ama-Kellogs.

20. RSVP, asiyazi leyo nto. It’s either siyafika or asifiki, usuyobona nawe.

21. Sithenga izicathulo ezibizayo bese sihlobisa nge-cardboard lakhona.

22. Container ye-yoghurt 1kg uma isiphelile sifaka kuyo steelwool, skirpoto nensipho yokugeza izitsha.

23. Isaka lempuphu liphenduka ivovo lokuvova utshwala besintu.

24. Isigubhu se-Powerade siphatha ngaso i-juice esikoleni. (Phika phela)

25. Isigubhu sika-2 litha we-juice/wamasi sifaka kuso imbiza yokuchatha.

26. Uma kuphela impuphu sibiyele ingadi ngesaka lempuphu.

FAKA OKWAKHO NAWE SIHLEKE SONKE


Yazi ikudide indaba uthi uyabuza umdidi lo onguye okudidileyo laye umthole edidekile yikho lapho ozabona khona ukuthi abanye abantu ukuba ngumdidi kumbe indidane yisiphiwo strait